My little list of fears about work

I recently came to the realization that stress = fear. In the spirit of “name it to tame it” I decided to write down all my fears about work and my career. Many of these are the same root fear, but they are sneaky often voice themselves in different ways.

1. The business can do poorly or fail

2. The economy is bad and it can affect me

3. I could find myself out of a job, without a livelihood, without purpose, without belonging

4. There’s a lot of conflict

5. There’s a lot of confusion

6. There’s a lot of discord

7. No one knows what to do

8. No one agrees

9. There is no positive or productive communication

10. My entire livelihood, income, purpose, belonging is at risk

11. There’s a total lack of leadership; no plan, no strategy

12. The environment is stressful and takes away my well-being

13. There’s too much work and it’s overwhelming

14. All jobs, any job, is inherently a toil and takes a toll and there’s no avoiding it

15. I can judge and judged, attacked, bullied

16. I can be the bully and hurt people

17. It’s impossible to be productive, to do good work, or get anything done

18. Everything’s broken; it takes a ton of extra steps to get anything done

19. There are big egos and personalities that have to be supplicated, satisfied, and managed

20. Other people hold power over our job, livelihood, purpose

21. Change is tumultuous and causes harm

22. We can’t understand each other, we talk over each other

23. I don’t have all the information or knowledge I need to do my job effectively

24. I can’t focus, can’t think

25. I have to control and manage everything in order to protect myself

26. It’s all on my and my responsibility because nothing makes sense and I can’t trust anything except myself

27. I have lost my peace and well-being

28. Executives can’t make up their mind or make a decision, let alone the right decision

29. Some people just choose not to do the right thing because it’s too hard

30. This job defines me and is all that I am

31. This job has completely taken over my mental environment

32. I can’t escape thinking about work

33. I can’t escape the impact of stress and it causes real harm to me

34. I’m not strong enough to do this job and maintain my well-being

35. All this chaos, conflict, discord, confusion has grow to such terrifying proportions there’s no stopping it, no escape - it will never end. 

36. I could end up in a role that is harmful to me and my well-being

37. There aren’t enough resources to support the business

38. I get worn down over time

39. I am powerless to maintain my well-being

40. Without my job, I don’t know who I am, I have nothing

41. Success comes at great personal cost to your well-being, your physical health, your family

42. I don’t know what I’m good at

43. I don’t know what my purpose is

44. I can be egotistical, arrogant

45. I can embarrass myself

46. I can be humiliated

47. I am lost

48. I am forgotten

49. I am sidelined

50. I am dominated by my leaders, stakeholders

51. I can get in my own way

52. I can self-destruct

53. I am left out

54. I can mess up, break unspoken rules, and the world will turn on me, banish me, blame me, ignore me, disgrace me, exile me

55. I could take a wrong step, get into a bad situation

56. I can be overlooked, be misunderstood

57. Having a job has a negative impact on my family

58. I can take my stress out on my daughter and my husband

59. I can be a bad mom because I have a job

60. If I don’t work, I’ll be bored

61. If I don’t work, I won’t matter

62. If I don’t work, I won’t fulfill my potential

63. If I don’t work, my talent is wasted

64. If I don’t work, we won’t have what we need to live

65. Having kids takes a toll, wears you down

66. Being a mom makes you distracted at work

67. I can’t take care of myself or maintain my well-being because I work and I’m a mom

68. Work is endless toil and there’s no making it better

69. The grass isn’t greener in another job; it’s the same misery in a different form

70. None of the work I do matters

71. My job takes too much from me

72. I can get stuck in my career and never progress

73. I can hate my work

74. I can be bored by my work

75. No one will want to hire me

76. I could be fired

77. There is no stability or security of income or livelihood

78. I have to prove myself everyday

79. People don’t like me

80. I can alienate or offend other people

81. I can be the toxic one

82. None of this is ever fulfilling

83. The work never ends

84. Nothing gets solved or resolved

85. I’m part of the problem, not the solution

86. There is no solution

87. My job defines me

88. There is no escape from stress, anxiety

89. I am unstable, emotional

90. I am discriminated against because I am a woman

91. I am difficult

92. Being a mom is hard

93. Being a mom ruins your career

94. Being a mom ruins your body

95. There is no way to break this cycle, only survival

96. My well-being is all up to me

97. Nothing external to me will ever get better

98. It’s my fault if I’m not happy

99. I should be happy no matter the circumstances

100. There’s nothing and no one that can really help me

101. I am all alone

102. I can make a bad decision

103. If I don’t solve burnout and stress my career is over

104. I can’t solve burnout and stress

105. I’m a terrible person

My guess (or hope?) is that I am not alone in these fears. While I’m a long way from conquering them - and may never conquer some of them - this list helps me in a few ways: it helps me exercise self-awareness in moments when I’m responding or reacting to something based on fear. Building this list also helped explain to me why I feel so stressed - look at all the fear I’m carrying! But most importantly, the list helped deflate some of this fear. Isn’t at least a little bit absurd to think that life is just a long list of fears to constantly manage?